Will Rogers (1879-1935), renowned cowboy philosopher, started as a cowhand before becoming a beloved stage and movie star known for his witticism.
His comments on daily news were published in 350 newspapers and in 1926, he served as President Calvin Coolidge’s “ambassador of good will.”
His memorable opener, “All I know is what I read in the papers,” was widely used during the 1920s.
Born in Oklahoma, he left school in 1889 to become a cowboy, later joining Texas Jack’s Wild West Circus in South Africa.
He was known as the “Oklahoma’s Favorite Son”.
Rogers made his stage debut in New York in 1905, attaining significant fame through the Ziegfeld Follies of 1916 and films from 1918.
He married Betty Blake in 1908, with whom he had four children.
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Rogers died in a 1935 plane crash near Alaska.
I have selected the most funny quotes by Will Rogers below.
Best Will Rogers Quotes
A stranger is just a friend I haven’t met yet. ~ Will Rogers.
Lord, let me live until I die. ~ Will Rogers.
All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that’s an alibi for my ignorance. ~ Will Rogers.
We are all ignorant. We are just ignorant about different things. ~ Will Rogers.
What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds. ~ Will Rogers.
Pain is such an uncomfortable feeling that even a tiny amount of it is enough to ruin every enjoyment. ~ Will Rogers.
Everyone is a self-made man. Only the successful admit it. ~ Will Rogers.
Don’t wait to buy land, Buy land and wait. Find out where the people are going and buy the land before they get there. ~ Will Rogers.
I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies. ~ Will Rogers.
A senator got up today in Congress and called his fellow senators sons of wild jackasses. Now, if you think the senators were hot, imagine how the jackasses must feel. ~ Will Rogers.
If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of Congress? ~ Will Rogers.
When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don’t be surprised if they learn their lesson. ~ Will Rogers.
Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due. ~ Will Rogers.
People should be more concerned with the return of their principal than the return on their principal. ~ Will Rogers.
Under capitalism man exploits man; under socialism the reverse is true. ~ Will Rogers.
The French couldn’t hate us any more unless we helped ’em out in another war. ~ Will Rogers.
Prohibition is better than no liquor at all. ~ Will Rogers.
Popular Will Rogers Quotes
In time of crisis people want to know that you care, more than they care what you know. ~ Will Rogers.
The short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office. ~ Will Rogers.
The trouble with land is that they’re not making it anymore. ~ Will Rogers.
There is one rule that works in every calamity. Be it pestilence, war, or famine, the rich get richer and poor get poorer. The poor even help arrange it. ~ Will Rogers.
The minute you read something that you can’t understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer. ~ Will Rogers.
Mothers are the only race of people that speak the same tongue. A mother in Manchuria could converse with a mother in Nebraska and never miss a word. ~ Will Rogers.
Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far. ~ Will Rogers.
Don’t invite me if you don’t want me. ~ Will Rogers.
A king can stand people’s fighting but he can’t last long if people start thinking. ~ Will Rogers.
Everyone wants to vote for the best and most qualified man, but he never runs for office. ~ Will Rogers.
There have been three great inventions since the beginning of time: fire, the wheel, and central banking. ~ Will Rogers.
It is not the return on my investment that I am concerned about; it’s the return of my investment. ~ Will Rogers.
Nobody wants to be called common people, especially common people. ~ Will Rogers.
It isn’t what we don’t know that gives us trouble, it’s what we know that ain’t so. ~ Will Rogers.
What’s considered enough money? Just a little bit more. ~ Will Rogers.
You never get a second chance to make a first impression. ~ Will Rogers.
We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others. ~ Will Rogers.
Hurray! Congress is to adjourn! Only four more days of Congressional burglary on the Treasury! ~ Will Rogers.
An ignorant person is one who doesn’t know what you have just found out. ~ Will Rogers.
A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people. ~ Will Rogers.
Top Will Rogers Quotes
Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip. ~ Will Rogers.
The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That’s one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living. ~ Will Rogers.
Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. ~ Will Rogers.
The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don’t let it get the best of you. ~ Will Rogers.
It’s great to be great, but it’s greater to be human. ~ Will Rogers.
Never blame a legislative body for not doing something. When they do nothing, that don’t hurt anybody. When they do something is when they become dangerous. ~ Will Rogers.
You can’t fool all of the people all of the time. But it isn’t necessary. ~ Will Rogers.
When you’re through learning, you’re through. ~ Will Rogers.
Always drink upstream from the herd. ~ Will Rogers.
Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. ~ Will Rogers.
When you find yourself in a hole, quit digging. ~ Will Rogers.
Too many people spend money they haven’t earned to buy things they don’t want to impress people they don’t like. ~ Will Rogers.
We can’t all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud when they go by. ~ Will Rogers.
Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else. ~ Will Rogers.
There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in. ~ Will Rogers.
The trouble with Democrats is that they all want to run for President. ~ Will Rogers.
If I studied all my life, I couldn’t think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress. ~ Will Rogers.
When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds. ~ Will Rogers.
Famous Will Rogers Quotes
There is no income tax in Russia. But there’s no income. ~ Will Rogers.
Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated. ~ Will Rogers.
If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. ~ Will Rogers.
There is one guaranteed formula for failure, and that is to try to please everyone. ~ Will Rogers.
The way to make money in the stock market is to buy a stock. Then, when it goes up, sell it. If it’s not going to go up, don’t buy it! ~ Will Rogers.
You can’t legislate intelligence and common sense into people. ~ Will Rogers.
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out? ~ Will Rogers.
The sales tax is the best and most equitable tax. The gasoline tax, which is nothing but a sales tax, has proven painless, productive and punitive. Everything we buy should have its equal proportion of tax, outside of cheap food and cheap clothes. ~ Will Rogers.
The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces. ~ Will Rogers.
Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. ~ Will Rogers.
Things will get better – despite our efforts to improve them. ~ Will Rogers.
People that pay for things never complain. It’s the guy you give something to that you can’t please. ~ Will Rogers.
The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them. ~ Will Rogers.
Don’t wait to buy land, buy land and wait. ~ Will Rogers.
A company is known by the people it keeps. ~ Will Rogers.
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it’s called golf. ~ Will Rogers.
Democrats are the only reason to vote for Republicans. ~ Will Rogers.
Ultimate Will Rogers Quotes
There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves. ~ Will Rogers.
We may elevate ourselves but we should never reach so high that we would every forget those who helped us get there. ~ Will Rogers.
Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today. ~ Will Rogers.
Do the best you can, and don’t take life too serious. ~ Will Rogers.
The more you observe politics, the more you’ve got to admit that each party is worse than the other. ~ Will Rogers.
I love words but I don’t like strange ones. You don’t understand them and they don’t understand you. Old words is like old friends, you know ’em the minute you see ’em. ~ Will Rogers.
A vision, without a plan, is just a hallucination. ~ Will Rogers.
Congress is going to start tinkering with the Ten Commandments just as soon as they find someone in Washington who has read them. ~ Will Rogers.
No man is great if he thinks he is. ~ Will Rogers.
It’s no laughing matter being a Republican in these perilous times. Anyone can be a Republican when the stock market is up, but when stocks are selling for no more than they’re worth, I tell you, being a Republican – it’s a sacrifice. ~ Will Rogers.
You must judge a man’s greatness by how much he will be missed. ~ Will Rogers.
Broad-minded is just another way of saying a fellow is too lazy to form an opinion. ~ Will Rogers.
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment. ~ Will Rogers.
Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today. ~ Will Rogers.
A Congressman is never any better than his roads, and sometimes worse. ~ Will Rogers.
When you get into trouble 5,000 miles from home, you’ve got to have been looking for it. ~ Will Rogers.
Great Will Rogers Quotes
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for. ~ Will Rogers.
It takes a lifetime to build a good reputation, but you can lose it in a minute. ~ Will Rogers.
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car. ~ Will Rogers.
Common sense is not an issue in politics – it’s an affliction. ~ Will Rogers.
Buy land. They ain’t making any more of the stuff. ~ Will Rogers.
Rumor travels faster, but it don’t stay put as long as truth. ~ Will Rogers.
There is not a man in the country that can’t make a living for himself and family. But he can’t make a living for them and his government, too, the way his government is living. What the government has got to do is live as cheap as the people. ~ Will Rogers.
Be thankful we’re not getting all the government we’re paying for. ~ Will Rogers.
There are men running governments who shouldn’t be allowed to play with matches. ~ Will Rogers.
You know, women always could endure more than men. Not only physically, but mentally – did you ever get a peek at some of the husbands? ~ Will Rogers.
If you don’t like the weather in Oklahoma, wait a minute and it’ll change. ~ Will Rogers.
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects. ~ Will Rogers.
I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat. ~ Will Rogers.
There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works. ~ Will Rogers.
Funny Betty White Quotes
I would rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it. ~ Will Rogers.
You know you’ve got to exercise your brain just like your muscles. ~ Will Rogers.
If you want to be successful, it’s just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing. ~ Will Rogers.
Women are not the weak, frail little flowers that they are advertised. There has never been anything invented yet, including war, that a man would enter into, that a woman wouldn’t, too. ~ Will Rogers.
When you are satisfied, you are successful. For that’s all there is to success is satisfaction. ~ Will Rogers.
Common sense ain’t common. ~ Will Rogers.
The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it except they keep coming back. ~ Will Rogers.
Show me a healthy community with a healthy economy and I will show you a community that has its green infrastructure in order and understands the relationship between the built and the unbuilt environment. ~ Will Rogers.
I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened. ~ Will Rogers.
People’s minds are changed through observation and not through argument. ~ Will Rogers.
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. ~ Will Rogers.
This thing of being a hero, about the main thing to it is to know when to die. ~ Will Rogers.
The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, ‘How is the president?’ ~ Will Rogers.
Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there. ~ Will Rogers.
I have Indian blood in me. I have just enough white blood for you to question my honesty! ~ Will Rogers.
Texas is a great state. It’s the ‘Old Man River’ of states. No matter who runs it or what happens to it politically, it just keeps rolling along! ~ Will Rogers.
Witty Will Rogers Quotes
Real estate is the best investment in the world because it is the only thing they’re not making any more. ~ Will Rogers.
Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction. ~ Will Rogers.
It don’t take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep. ~ Will Rogers.
Don’t gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don’t go up, don’t buy it. ~ Will Rogers.
If you want to be successful, love what you are doing. ~ Will Rogers.
No man can be condemned for owning a dog. As long as he has a dog, he has a friend; and the poorer he gets, the better friend he has. ~ Will Rogers.
A fool and his money are soon elected. ~ Will Rogers.
Never miss a chance to shut up. ~ Will Rogers.
The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected. ~ Will Rogers.
If America ever passes out as a great nation, we ought to put on our tombstone: America died from a delusion she had Moral Leadership. ~ Will Rogers.
The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn’t still be a farmer. ~ Will Rogers.
We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can. ~ Will Rogers.
Just because it’s common sense, doesn’t mean it’s common practice. ~ Will Rogers.
Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke. ~ Will Rogers.
You’ve got to go out on a limb sometimes because that’s where the fruit is. ~ Will Rogers.
Hilarious Will Rogers Quotes
We have the best Congress that money can buy. ~ Will Rogers.
With Congress, every time they make a joke it’s a law, and every time they make a law it’s a joke. ~ Will Rogers.
Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don’t have for something they don’t need. ~ Will Rogers.
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around. ~ Will Rogers.
People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide. ~ Will Rogers.
The only way to solve the traffic problems of the country is to pass a law that only paid-for cars are allowed to use the highways. That would make traffic so scarce, we could use our boulevards for children’s playgrounds. ~ Will Rogers.
The best way out of a difficulty is through it. ~ Will Rogers.
You know horses are smarter than people. You never heard of a horse going broke betting on people. ~ Will Rogers.
Even though you are on the right track – you will get run over if you just sit there. ~ Will Rogers.
The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing. ~ Will Rogers.
I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. ~ Will Rogers.
I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. ~ Will Rogers.
Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. Never miss a good chance to shut up. ~ Will Rogers.
Lead your life so you wouldn’t be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip. ~ Will Rogers.
A successful outcome shows what hard work, perseverance and taking advantage of your opportunities will do for you. ~ Will Rogers.
Cattlemen have lost more in the last few years than anybody and say less about it. ~ Will Rogers.
If you are trying to get out of the hole, stop digging. ~ Will Rogers.
One revolution is like one cocktail, it just gets you organized for the next. ~ Will Rogers.
I never met a man that I didn’t like. ~ Will Rogers.
America is a land of opportunity and don’t ever forget it. ~ Will Rogers.
We always want the best man to win an election. Unfortunately, he never runs. ~ Will Rogers.
I am always going to do my best, no matter where I am. ~ Will Rogers.
I’m not so much interested in the return ON my money as I am in the return of my money. ~ Will Rogers.
Invest in inflation. It is the only thing going up. ~ Will Rogers.
Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie’ until you can find a rock. ~ Will Rogers.
If stupidity got us in this mess, how come it can’t get us out. ~ Will Rogers.
So these were the 160 top Will Rogers quotes on leadership, government, aging, death, wisdom, friendship and money.
If you like these quotes and sayings, then you can also read my other posts on power of prayer quotes and Betty White quotes.
